Like this:

I’ve been putting off writing this post because 1) I wanted to wait until I got my really cool special government employee security badge 2) procrastination/laziness, duh. Unfortunately, the former has yet to happen (I have been promised that it will tomorrow, although I was also promised that it would today), so I will force myself to overcome the latter and update you with what has been happening.

I spend a good portion of my first day walking around the office with Mike, my supervisor, and meeting basically everyone in the Division. In order to explain what that means I have to explain the breakdown of the EPA, so here it goes:

EPA (Environmental Protection Agency)

–>breaks into Offices (such as Air, Water, and Pollution, Pesticides, and Toxic Substances (OPPTS), where I work)

–>OPPTS breaks into three sub-offices, which include the Pesticides Office and the Office of Pollution Prevention and Toxics (OPPT), where I work

–>OPPT divides into divisions, most of which are science-y and involve testing new chemicals, or running programs such as the asbestos or lead programs, which work to reduce these and other commonly-used toxic materials. My division, the Environmental Assistance Division (EAD), does a lot of the budgetary work for OPPT as a whole, plus communicates with Congress and the President, works with other countries to acheive common goals, etc.

–>EAD then divides into branches, which include Human Resources, Immediate, etc, and the Planning and Assessment Branch (PAB), of which, to my understanding, Mike is the deputy director. We do a lot of the previously managed budgetary stuff, including looking at contracts given out by the science-y divisions, seeing what money has been spent/needs to be spent, etc.

So much of what I’ve been doing in the three days thus far has been looking at the very, very complicated databases that contain all of the information about the budgets for all of the divisions and looking for money that needs to be spent by a certain deadline, discrepancies in money promised to a project versus money spent on a project, etc. It’s actually really interesting because you get to see a lot of “How Government Works”. Mike pointed out that this is how government is kept accountable to taxpayers: we are that accountability by making sure that no one is wasting money or not getting things done. Plus, we (and I can say “we” because I’m an official “employee” (but actually an official voluntary intern)) are an integral part of this whole testing chemicals and making sure they are safe for consumer use. So it’s pretty cool thus far.

Other things I am doing include taking part in a couple of “work groups” which I am pretty excited about. These are just special tasks forces of people across the EPA aiming to do things outside of their specific line of work. I’m lucky in that Mike is the OPPT representative to the environmental justice workgroup, and has let me sit in on their meetings. Their mission is to create a formal way of examining the impact of a policy on environmental justice. (Environmental justice-”EJ” as they call it- is the term for “inequitable environmental burdens borne by groups such as racial minorities, women, residents of economically disadvantaged areas, or residents of developing nations” (thanks to Wikipedia). For example, a poor community right next to a heavily-polluting factory is an example of an issue of environmental justice. Lack of access to water can also be an issue of EJ.) Anyway, the existence of environmental injustice can obviously be a reason for a policy to be implemented- banning the use of certain pesticides that harm farm workers, for example- but as of now the EPA does not have any sort of formal process for examining what that policy means for EJ. So that is what they are doing- creating a list of questions to be asked, things to be considered, etc. And I hopefully will be able to contribute a bit to it, or at least sit in and learn more about it.

I also hopefully will be working with one other group, called “Emerging Leaders” that my coworker Bryan got me involved in. Their basic idea, from what I can gather from the one meeting I went to, is making the Environmental Protection Agency–the building, the people, etc–more environmentally friendly. This could mean putting in a compost pile in the cafeteria, working on a better recycling program, etc. It sounds pretty cool although I must admit I haven’t done much with them yet. Note that both this group and the EJ workgroup meet rather infrequently- only like once or twice a week, if that often.

Other than those three things I have been hard at work learning the systems, and, almost as challengingly, the acronyms. Everything at the EPA has an acronym, from OPPTS to CARE (the anti-lead program, I believe) to CCR (Chemical Control…something) to PBW (something to do with labor). Many of the meetings I go to speak entirely in this code, so I am slowly learning to decipher them.

Everyone at the office has been ridiculously nice to me so far, and all have been very patient in answering all of my nagging questions. I have only worked three days thus far (Wed., Thurs., Tues.) due to the fact that while I was not an official employee (before my paperwork went through, long story) I became some sort of insurance liability and was told to not come to work (very nicely, of course). However, I am all official and receiving my awesome VIP credentials tomorrow, so I am getting really excited to be a part of some of these projects and to feel like I am a small cog in the huge, important EPA machine. I’m already wondering if I can maybe do some work from home or stay an extra week so I can squeeze in more projects.

In other EPA-related but not work-related news, if that makes sense, tomorrow I am going to the OPPT picnic! Hopefully it won’t rain, because it is outside, as most picnics tend to be (except the ones I throw, sometimes). It has been raining a lot recently, including today, despite the fact that it was 86 degrees according to weather.com. The picnic will be a good chance for me to try to remember a few more of the 50 or so people that I met on the first day and whose names I have long since forgotten. I also am joining the EPA softball league, on Mike, Bryan, etc’s team “The Louisiville Sludgers,” the name of which has something to do with some of the employees coming from a solid waste division, or something. I joined on the promise that softball was more about socializing and less about actual softball, so I should be okay, as long as I don’t have to hit or catch anything.

I guess that about wraps up my work post. Oh yeah, Chaka Khan. I guess every Tuesday or something there is a musical performance in the plaza right outside where I work, right next to the Ronald Reagan Building (hah). Anyway, she was the performer on the first day I was there. I stayed just long enough to realize I had no idea who she was and the crowds were too big for me to stay to find out. Oh! Fun related story! Because of the concert the lines were super long at nearby food courts, so Mike took me to the Natural History Museum across the street and into the top secret government employees-only cafe, which you just have to know about to get into because you go through a secret door at the back, but eating in which made me feel very in-the-know. It was very cool and apparently the food is better and cheaper.

It is on this eloquent note that I thus end the longest blog post ever. Next time: embassies, walking, more walking, and the Senate!

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